About Me

It's hard to know what to say about one's self. There's so much, and yet so little that seems to matter. If you imagine a fat old man, the loneliest man in the world, beat up, in constant pain, sitting on a rock on the beach in California, listening to the sea, smelling the fog and the water, wishing, then you have a good image of my heart, even though my body is in Texas for the moment. Four songs that define me - my theme songs, if you will - are Bob Seger's 'Turn the Page' and 'Shame On the Moon', ZZ Top's 'Rough Boy' and Metallica's 'Nothing Else Matters'.

Statistically, I'm 57 mumble years old, single and hating it, disabled, messed up, beat up, half blind, wore out and still trying. If you've read my book, you know more about me than almost anyone in the world, save one person. I'm an artist, a writer, a creator. It's who I am, not just what I do. Without it, I wouldn't be me. It's one of only a few things in my life I have confidence in.

I've lived a horribly traumatic life. A life of such tragedy that many people are amazed I've survived this long. I'm one of those people. An abused kid. An abused husband. Yes, it happens to men, as well, especially if you happen to be a big old teddy bear. I've never been a big Grateful Dead fan, but what a long strange trip it's been. And yes, I'm aware of my resemblance to a certain Grateful Dead member. People who LIKE me say I resemble Santa Clause. Women who lust after me...wait...never mind. Rock and roll, the movies, famous relatives, infamous friends, stupid, futile grand gestures, being in the wrong place at the worst possible time, hard won wisdom for others but never myself, the quest for love that still goes on, parts of me ripped away both by abuse and neglect, illness, injury, failure, even in the face of success, visions and nightmares. I also lost the love of my life, my soulmate, something you don't get over either quickly or without bloodshed. No one I know is smarter than I am in some ways, and no one I know is stupider than I am in other ways. I've made a few dreams come true along the way. My writing has been well published, as has my art. I've written a movie that's been made, and have another on the way. I've made love to exceptionally beautiful, and wonderful women. I've gained some wisdom and intelligence over the years, in the painful way wisdom and intelligence are always gained. I've gone to a few places in the world I wanted to go. I've had my moments, but I'm not finished quite yet. I hunger for life like a beggar at a banquet, and damn it, I'm not full yet.

At one time, I was actually quite a handsome man. Here's a picture of me when I was a younger rock and roller.

And now I end up here, a tired old man with a young man's heart and a sage's ancient soul. Disabled, in poverty, often hungry, not just for food but for love, for life. Always looking for that opportunity that seems to pass me by, trying to make an honest buck to survive, dreaming about feeling wanted and needed. And if I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas.

Too sentimental for you? Tough titty, it's who I am. I'm a sentimental lug and it goes bone deep. I feel hard, and I'm dead honest with people, and very very open about myself, my life, my wants and needs, my foibles and quirks. It's just easier that way. You don't have to remember as much, and instead of wasting time with the small talk and trivia, you get right to the heart of the matter.

I've counted among my friends and mentors Erle Stanley Gardner, J. N. Williamson, Robert Bloch, Joe Lansdale, Ramsey Campbell, and the ineffable Piers Anthony. If I counted my enemies, I'd have all of one, myself. I'm my own worst enemy, and isn't that the way it always is? I love well, but not wisely and I seem to have terrible taste in women. If there's a choice to be made you can be damned sure I'll make the wrong one. Piers Anthony once likened me to Sad Sack, referring to a comic strip that most don't remember these days, about a poor dog soldier who had a heart of gold and always meant well, but no matter what he did, it always went wrong. It was once said of me that both my virtues and vices were larger than life, and I suppose that's true. It's a fair cop. It was also said of me that I need a keeper, but that's what wives are for isn't it? I've never functioned well without a woman to give me inspiration. I know no other way to live than to invest myself into life 100 percent, to give it everything I have, and then to find a little more to give. It makes for some wonderful highs, but damn, the lows can kill you.

If you feel like you want to know more about me just Email me. Feel free to ask questions. I do take donations of food, money, movies, books, whatever. But honest graphics work is appreciated greatly. I'm not proud. Almost three years of disability has pretty much sucked it out of me. But I'm a nice fella. Just ask my friends. References are available on request.

Ron Leming
1526 Bell 103W
Amarillo, TX
79106